just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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