She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
