first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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