This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
