You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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