toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
