Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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