Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
