he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
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