I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
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Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
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Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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