I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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