People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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