Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
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$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
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But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list