i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up