Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask. http://tfl.nu/1jf3
  Replies (8) Good night (838) Bad night (2101)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober" http://tfl.nu/5gad
  Replies (61) Good night (3130) Bad night (745)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car http://tfl.nu/yqns
  Replies (27) Good night (1367) Bad night (5721)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't. http://tfl.nu/gt6v
  Replies (6) Good night (4111) Bad night (1322)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people." http://tfl.nu/j747
  Replies (13) Good night (1942) Bad night (4753)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem. http://tfl.nu/4xkw
  Replies (34) Good night (885) Bad night (7232)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now. http://tfl.nu/ygdu
  Replies (12) Good night (1052) Bad night (3395)
• Favorite

  (587): View more from Alberta

  She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (587): She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28. http://tfl.nu/r7ey
  Replies (8) Good night (1029) Bad night (4351)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now. http://tfl.nu/p09l
  Replies (6) Good night (4385) Bad night (1421)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?! http://tfl.nu/zl1v
  Replies (14) Good night (1042) Bad night (4148)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities http://tfl.nu/pt4w
  Replies (10) Good night (2580) Bad night (755)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room. http://tfl.nu/stph
  Replies (4) Good night (1666) Bad night (821)
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (213): I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question... http://tfl.nu/p1j1
  Replies (8) Good night (1163) Bad night (567)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it. http://tfl.nu/i1s8
  Replies (8) Good night (1617) Bad night (619)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month. http://tfl.nu/2n60
  Replies (4) Good night (613) Bad night (334)

Randomize