Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies