How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.