did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
