Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue http://tfl.nu/qbgw
  Replies (26) Good night (4884) Bad night (919)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (972): You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried. http://tfl.nu/sffp
  Replies (88) Good night (9940) Bad night (1897)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (601): Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ... http://tfl.nu/f5g8
  Replies (33) Good night (1440) Bad night (4365)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts. http://tfl.nu/8v61
  Replies (16) Good night (963) Bad night (6381)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree. http://tfl.nu/bwsc
  Replies (11) Good night (4312) Bad night (1806)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final http://tfl.nu/g3gv
  Replies (7) Good night (2626) Bad night (1091)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships. http://tfl.nu/002a
  Replies (10) Good night (2119) Bad night (1125)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k? http://tfl.nu/xp0u
  Replies (11) Good night (1548) Bad night (627)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one. http://tfl.nu/3exv
  Replies (15) Good night (1506) Bad night (656)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis. http://tfl.nu/jvao
  Replies (28) Good night (4175) Bad night (844)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail. http://tfl.nu/3erx
  Replies (5) Good night (969) Bad night (420)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something http://tfl.nu/w0o2
  Replies (2) Good night (632) Bad night (402)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.

  (1-205): View more from Alabama

  WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor. (1-205): WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING http://tfl.nu/uvee
  Replies (3) Good night (601) Bad night (343)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it http://tfl.nu/ro1j
  Replies (0) Good night (484) Bad night (356)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that. http://tfl.nu/qfu4
  Replies (0) Good night (479) Bad night (134)

Randomize