What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
