shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
