That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
