Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
even my farts smell like vagina
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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