Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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