remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize