you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
