I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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