Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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