its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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