I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
We left the knife in your bed.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
