So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
