What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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