i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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