Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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