My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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