How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
