I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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