Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
