Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
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