So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
