My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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