ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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