I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
