i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
