their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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