so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
