it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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