i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I am naked and annoyed.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
