I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
