what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
