We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
