THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
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It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
She's just so happy...and so naked.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
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im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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