i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
