That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
