No awkward lesbian experiences without me
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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