I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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