Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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