Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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