I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
