Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
