No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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