Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Randomize
