To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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