I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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