Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
