I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize