i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
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I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
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My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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