Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize