don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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