This girl is more easily done than said...
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
