I just cut my nipple shaving
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
