Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Sorry my hands just texted you
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
